Duck Tales

What is your communication style?

What Tinder tells us

The selfies and swiping offer valuable insights into different communication styles.

Ever wondered what Tinder can tell you about succeeding in business? I thought not. Dating apps are hardly the first place we look when we’re seeking new ways to grow our business and/or raise our profile. But if you look behind the flattering selfies and all that swiping, you’ll see how the online dating world mirrors the business world. As a result, dating apps provide some great insights into different communication styles and the way we network online.

Being visible and accountable is key to getting your desired outcome.

Most people assume that if you’re on Tinder, you’re just looking for a quick hook-up or a ‘friend with benefits’. In reality, a large proportion of Tinder users are looking for a long term relationship.

They know what they want and have made themselves visible to their target audience. Being visible to their audience means they will be held accountable for the actions they take. If they find common ground with their audience, they have a chance of developing a long term relationship. The lesson? You get the outcomes you desire from the actions you take.

Removing barriers should be a key business strategy.

One of the reasons for Tinder’s success is that it removes barriers to help people get from where they are (alone on the couch) to where they want to be (enjoying the company of someone they find interesting and attractive). Instead of having to organise a blind date through mutual friends or coordinate a night out at a bar, you can simply open the app and start swiping.

It also makes that initial connection far easier for people who may be more introverted. Let’s face it, walking up to a stranger in a bar is far more daunting than sending someone a message on an app. In that respect, it’s a lot like networking. You may hate networking events and be more suited to connecting with people online. Which beggars the question…

What is your communication style?

The way you engage on a dating app will be similar to the way you approach online networking. So have a think about your motivation and style of communication – are you more passive or do you tend to initiate contact and go after what you want?

Mr Cellophane

Mr/Ms Cellophane tends to have an online profile and lots of connections but never takes any action, so you never know they’re there. When it comes to dating apps, they enjoy the ego boosts of being swiped right but never do anything about it. In the business world, they’re the ones that never comment or engage on LinkedIn (or anything) despite having 500 plus connections. What do they get? Poor outcomes in business and in love.

The Commitmentphobe

While the commitmentphobe may want a relationship, they’re so busy wondering if the grass is greener on the other side, they miss what’s right in front of them. They come across as evasive, indecisive and self-involved. If you want to lay the foundations for a meaningful relationship – in business or in love – you need to discover a common ground, interest or passion quickly. That requires commitment.

Lazy Bones

We all know someone who loves to take shortcuts. On Tinder, they don’t put in any effort or time to engage in a meaningful way. They might even copy and paste messages to different prospective dates (yes, this happens). In the business world, they’re the ones who send out mass, generic emails with zero personality. Lazy users are happy to take whatever interest comes their way, even if it’s not aligned to their vision for long term success. As a result, they miss connecting with their perfect match/client.

The Go-Getter

This person knows what they want and pulls out all the stops to get it. If someone sparks their interest online, they swing into action to organise a face-to-face catch-up. Whether it’s dating to growing their network, they are focussed on getting results. While this approach is admirable, it’s important that the drive to get a desired outcomes doesn’t come across as selfish or aggressive.

Present and Purposeful

Someone who is focussed on visibility uses a range of tactics to connect with people. When it comes to dating, Tinder will be only one of many different channels they use to discover their ideal companion. They’re open-minded and happy to connect with a diverse range of people on a diverse range of platforms. And they’re flexible -  if one channel isn’t working for them, they’ll try something different.

Whether it’s finding your perfect partner on Tinder or growing your business, you need three core things – passion, accountability and vision.  

Nothing in life is easy but that’s what makes achieving your goals feel so damn good. If you’re ready to build your ideal future, I’d love to help carve out your path. Through my one-on-one coaching program, you will out what you need to do right now to achieve meaningful and sustainable success. Book a 15-minute consult and let’s get cracking.

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As an executive coach, speaker and international author, Gordon helps entrepreneurs and professionals break through their plateaus and accelerate their personal and professional growth.

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